gq: Welcome to Congress, Republicans! Here’s Your Freshman Orientation Map The first thing you’ll notice about our nation’s capital is that it has lots of black people. Don’t be alarmed—they live here! Feel free to engage them, but always remember: Most of them are Democrats. 1. K Street: “Grass-Roots Funding Avenue.”2. Museum of Natural History: “Museum of Evolutionary Theory.”3. White House: “Kenyan Presidential Palace.”4. National Mall: There are no food courts here. Or Cinnabons. Yet.5. State Department: “Comintern.”6. Union Station: “Socialized Transit Station.”7. C Street House: The C stands for Christ. And mistresses.8. The Palm: “The People’s Steak House.” (Recommended: The People’s Prime Bone-In Filet Mignon for $56.)9. Apex Nightclub: Recommended for late-night fact-finding missions by straight male members who are very, very opposed to the spread of the gay agenda.10. Massachusetts Avenue: “Street of Countries Waiting to Be Bombed.”11. Verizon Center: Where white people and black people come together. [Text by Stephen Sherrill]
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gq:

Welcome to Congress, Republicans! Here’s Your Freshman Orientation Map

The first thing you’ll notice about our nation’s capital is that it has lots of black people. Don’t be alarmed—they live here! Feel free to engage them, but always remember: Most of them are Democrats.

1. K Street: “Grass-Roots Funding Avenue.”
2. Museum of Natural History: “Museum of Evolutionary Theory.”
3. White House: “Kenyan Presidential Palace.”
4. National Mall: There are no food courts here. Or Cinnabons. Yet.
5. State Department: “Comintern.”
6. Union Station: “Socialized Transit Station.”
7. C Street House: The C stands for Christ. And mistresses.
8. The Palm: “The People’s Steak House.” (Recommended: The People’s Prime Bone-In Filet Mignon for $56.)
9. Apex Nightclub: Recommended for late-night fact-finding missions by straight male members who are very, very opposed to the spread of the gay agenda.
10. Massachusetts Avenue: “Street of Countries Waiting to Be Bombed.”
11. Verizon Center: Where white people and black people come together.

[Text by Stephen Sherrill]

(via ilovecharts)

Source: GQ

304 Notes/ Hide

  1. missmuslimah reblogged this from greenstate
  2. feministry reblogged this from gq
  3. jadorenelly reblogged this from ilovecharts and added:
    Welcome to Congress, Republicans! Here’s Your Freshman Orientation Map The first thing you’ll notice about our nation’s...
  4. lidocaine reblogged this from ilovecharts
  5. dat-becky reblogged this from ilovecharts
  6. popgoestheculture reblogged this from ilovecharts
  7. airportappreciation reblogged this from heroes-and-cons
  8. susannahbrynn reblogged this from ilovecharts and added:
    I know, I know. But I couldn’t resist.
  9. theworldisnotenough1 reblogged this from ilovecharts
  10. 64inches reblogged this from apoplecticskeptic
  11. katerinaa reblogged this from heroes-and-cons and added:
    DC in a nutshell
  12. emmtotheatt reblogged this from greenstate
  13. andmarwaslike reblogged this from greenstate
  14. anothernerdfighterinthetardis reblogged this from greenstate and added:
    akfhajlfhajkfhajfhasjfhasj Apex
  15. hairtrending reblogged this from greenstate
  16. diydrogue reblogged this from greenstate and added:
    Bahah, Apex. I admit, I always get mad that there isn’t much to eat near the national mall. XD
  17. hotcocksauce reblogged this from greenstate
  18. reflux reblogged this from greenstate and added:
    “Grass-roots funding avenue” Priceless, GQ.
  19. heroes-and-cons reblogged this from greenstate and added:
    apex lmaoo
  20. greenstate reblogged this from shortformblog and added:
    hilarious.
  21. sapphirefire reblogged this from crimble-crumble and added:
    HAHAH #11 WHICH IS CHINATOWN LOL
  22. crimble-crumble reblogged this from washingtonpoststyle and added:
    My body cannot handle all the epic LOLs in this!
  23. pomygreat reblogged this from washingtonpoststyle
  24. clubfilth reblogged this from gq and added:
    satirical wit. it gets me every time.
  25. aliquidcure reblogged this from ilovecharts and added:
    Lolz @ Apex…
  26. livinginft reblogged this from ilovecharts and added:
    FTW. this is so amazing.
  27. thekatierogers reblogged this from washingtonpoststyle